Art so bad they called the police

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I’m a bit late to this but couldn’t resist the opportunity to reflect on the Willy's Chocolate Experience debacle in Glasgow, Scotland last week.

Basically, a group called the House of Illuminati created an experiential arty pop-up environment that was so bad people called the police. So baldly abhorrent that it made children cry.

It’s worth noticing that the experience is at heart a triumph of overdetermined fiction, with all aspects of the event - including concept, description, and imagery - created in what looks to be about 5 seconds with Generative AI.

Concept: Imagination Lab TM (Yes, TM!) (“Brace yourself for an adventure that will leave you spellbound!”) and Twilight Tunnel (“Journey through a dimly lit passage adorned with captivating projections, enigmatic sounds, and surprising turns that will immerse you in suspense and excitement.”)

Descriptive text: “Step into the magical realm of Willy's Chocolate Experience, a universe where confectionary dreams are brought to life! Prepare for a journey filled with delicious treats, enchanting adventures, and moments worth capturing.”

Imagery:

Yeah it probably looks like that. Oh wait, no it actually looks like this:

Welcome to a themed room

Some magical surprises that add an extra layer of wonder to your  Chocolatey Experience

The only thing they couldn’t create with Generative AI is the thing itself.

I suspect that because creating the concept, description and visuals was so easy, the organizing team just skimmed over what they were actually promising. They probably got so excited about their new point of sale-enabled website that they forgot, or never actually knew, what they were making. (Further evidence is the Willy Wonka theme, which is so obvious it’s basically atavistic)

But the House of Illuminati reveals even more off-the-hook glory. So bad that it’s almost admirable, a work of a mind untethered from even basic human expectations. Among their offerings: Techno-Mythical Shows, Mystique Galas, “Avant-Garde Art Installations”, and Enchanted Retreats. (Think Fyre Festival).

Is this what happens when someone is given unfettered access to their imagination, and their imagination isn’t very strong, or is too strong, or their relationship to reality isn’t very nuanced, so that pressing the magic button feels the same as creating the magic?

I mean guys, there were clues. Like this image from the website that was so directly ported from an AI platform that the machine screws up text as it always does…

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But I also think it’s kind of awesome that they actually tried to pull it off.

In the tradition of many a late-night-before-the-exhibition-opening, they would have been in there with these crappy cardboard lollipops and having to transport the glitter rainbow arc on the subway over.

I’m also thinking that whoever went ahead and pressed the button must have been really regretting it by the time opening day came around. “Guys, this doesn’t look like I thought it would…” “Fuck off Callum whose fault is that?”